Be Careful of Your Default Settings

Last week I asked a friend to read my current work in progress (and it IS progressing, albeit slowly). She returned it and I waited for the feedback. She started with: "What's the pizza fetish about?"

I certainly hadn't been expecting that. What pizza fetish?

"Well," she said. "He goes for a pizza on p5, she's thinking about getting in pizza on p8, they're at a pizza restaurant on p10, her mates are heading off for a pizza on p17..."

Oops. My default setting when I think of food eaten outside the home is obviously pizza. Which is weird because I hardly ever have one, but it's obviously my default setting: when in doubt, let them eat pizza.

I think we all have our own personal collection of default settings, and it's a good idea to become aware of them. Character gestures - biting lips, running hands through hair, running fingers round the rim of wineglasses are all some of mine. Scene settings - my characters often settle down for tea in their kitchens, one of the dullest settings possible. Food - pizza, obviously, but also mushrooms and red wine because they're the two food stuffs I can't stand and I want to make it totally apparent that the characters aren't me. (If only it were that easy...)

One of my writing friends has a tendency to have her characters take long, long baths. Another has characters looking at their hands in minute detail as their fingers stroke things, or stuff nestles in their palms. I've seen short stories featuring Ron, Don and Ben, with the author blissfully unaware.

When the first draft is being written you're trying so hard to get the story down you grab at the first thing that comes into your mind. That's fine, but but you have to be prepared to go back and eradicate any sloppy gestures, settings or whatever you've given as a default position. So, expect no pizzas in my next book. It's going to be fish and chips all the way.

World Creation

All writers go in for world creation, it comes with the territory. What is contained on the pages is fiction, the product of the writer's imagination. So we all create worlds - that's part of the fun of it. Even novels set in the reader's own time and place are fantasy recreations of the real world.

World creation is also one of the reasons we read. We want to know what life was like in, for example, C18th Paris, or Barcelona in the Spanish Civil War. We want to imagine pretend worlds, such as that created by Tolkien - how many visitors to New Zealand are really hoping they're going to end up in The Shire?

We like world creation as readers, and it's part of the writer's job to re-create a world, whether imaginary or real.

What sometimes happens is that the writer gets carried away by their world. Every little thing, every tiny detail gets given the same loving focus as the main features. If writers are sensible they keep the marvellous details out of their main works, and publish them separately eg The Silmarrillion by Tolkien, or Quidditch through the Ages by JK Rowling. Tolkien and Rowling are both wonderful story tellers and they know that too much detail weighs the story down.

So fantasy novelists have to guard against adding just the right amount of detail - enough to create a fantasy world, not enough to get in the way of the story telling. Any novel which involves research has to watch out for this too - social history is fascinating, but will your description of the manufacture of manglewurzel cutters add anything to your story?

And even contemporary writers have to guard against the temptation to describe every little thing in detail - I once read part of someone's short story that spent two whole pages describing a bureau and its contents, none of which was really relevant to the story but had taken up about 500 words. That's a high percentage of a short story to spend on 'creating atmosphere.'

So if your short story or novel appears to be endless, try going through and marking with a highlighter pen essential bits of action. Then be ruthless and cut the rest.

Keeping Description Going

Description falls into the same category as exercise and meals when dieting: little and often.

At feedback feedback sessions I frequently see pieces of writing which have no description whatsoever in them.  I suggest some would be a good idea; without it, the reader can't place the characters who are so busily talking to each other.  It's as if they are floating in time and space, disembodied heads nattering away.

The writer says that they've already included lots of description in the bit that comes just before this.  (This is often stated in an end-of-subject way.) But having a wodge of description on page 10 and then nothing for the next 4 pages simply doesn't work.  Readers like to do some work, but it's asking too much of them to hold an image of the location in their heads for so long.  Besides, they might not read p9 - 15 in one go; it's not impossible that they will put the book down and go off and do something else.  When they come back, they will be looking for clues as the location.  

The answer is to feed in description throughout the action.  Keep on adding little snippets about the location and the characters so the pictures are fresh in the reader's mind.  In the medieval Great Hall from yesterday's post I've already mentioned the hammer beams supporting the ceiling. I could add:  oak floorboards, stained glass, gargoyles, lions on coats of arms, flags and tapestries, candles...

And I could also be adding active verbs to all of them: oak floorboards (creaking), stained glass (sun shining through), gargoyles (leering), lions (rampant, of course) on coats of arms, flags and tapestries (waving, fluttering), candles (flickering, guttering)...

   John stared up at the massive medieval hammer beams supporting the ceiling as he entered the Great Hall. "Wow!"

   Melissa dragged her feet across the creaking oak floor. "I'm bored," she whined, flicking her long plait back over her shoulder.  

   John decided to ignore her. He went further into the hall, concentrating on the shields hung around the whitewashed walls.  There, among the lions rampant and the unicorns couchant on many coats of arms, he might see the golden balls of his ancestor.  

   "Heraldry sucks big time," Melissa muttered behind him.  

   He spun round.  She was standing in a shaft of sunlight streaming through the stained glass windows, her discontented face coloured red like blood.... 

Little and often, little and often.

  

Today!  In the library!  St Ives!  11.00 am. Me! 

Creating Pictures as You Write

One of the problems of starting out as a writer is similar to one of the problems of starting out as a driver: you over compensate.  If a new driver realises they're veering too much over to the left they yank the steering wheel round to the right, then have to yank it back again to the left.  

Sometimes, if you point out something to a new writer, they behave in a similar fashion.  Tell them they could do with a little more detail about the location and they immediately assume you mean pages of description. But you can actually create a picture about a place from very little description.  

John entered the room.  

Well, there's not much there to go on.  Try this:

John entered the hall.  

There's a bit more information, but the picture it creates is hazy.

John entered the Great Hall.

One extra word and the capitalisation might be enough for you but...

John entered the medieval Great Hall.  

...you might need some confirmation. 

John stared up at the massive medieval hammer beams supporting the ceiling as he entered the Great Hall. 

This conveys far more information and becomes easier for us to imagine the room that John has entered and a little bit about John's attitude, especially if we add... 

John stared up at the massive medieval hammer beams supporting the ceiling as he entered the Great Hall. "Wow!"

Okay, it's more words than we started with, but it's still under 20.  So you don't need to add that much description to enable the reader to create a picture in their heads of your story world. 

Anyone in St Ives for the September Festival?  I'm giving a talk on Friday 23rd September at 11.00 am in St Ives Library.  Go to the website for more info.

Detail Is Everything In Description

My Friday class were brilliant last week. I was blown away by their response to the exercise and I think we all were amazed at the quality of writing that came out. So, what was the exercise that had produced this fabulous work?

It was very simple. They 'sketched' each other, using words not lines. I had them in groups of three and they did 5 minutes on each of the others - A drew B for 5 minutes, then C. Meanwhile, B was drawing A, then C, and at the same time C was drawing B then A. Strict instructions were given not to make personal comments that might offend (who would think that colour suited them, what a big nose, are those spots?) and concentrate on the detail of what they were observing. I wanted to them really look, in a way that we usually don't.

And the results were terrific pieces of observation. People examined the fall of a scarf and the fastening of boots, the weave of a lacy collar and a tiny, almost imperceptible, line of purple woven into the fabric of a smart jacket. Light caught earrings, gold chains rested on collar bones, a line of crochet edged a cardigan like the crenellations on the Great Wall of China.

The sitters often expressed amazement - they'd not noticed, or had forgotten, the detail about their clothing - and the rest of us listened intently, fascinated by the writing and the depth of the detail.

It confirmed to me that if you're going to describe anything, the generic is a waste of space. All detail should be specific and detailed, and the more depth there is, the more interesting and believable it will be.

NEW!!! I've finally got round to organising some course dates....

How to WRITE a Novel: London 3rd May/Birmingham 7th May/

Oxford 8th May/Exeter 21st May/Bath 12th June

How to SELL a Novel: London 24th May/Exeter 4th June/

Bath 3rd July Details are on my website

Action in Prose

Description can get very, very dull. The best way to liven it up is to put some action in it. For example...

- It was a beautiful morning.

What made it a beautiful morning? Let's say it was the sunshine. That's static. So, perhaps the sunshine could sparkle on the surface of the river. OK, but could be better. The surface could ripple, for example, the river could gush. Perhaps there were trees leaning over the water. Make the trees specific varieties - willow is the obvious one, and conjures up images of long strands waving in the breeze...

- The supermarket was busy.

What makes a supermarket busy? Obvious answer - people. Mums and dads, and kids and babies and OAPs and stressed out checkout assistants and shelf stackers. Add in a load of trolleys, and tannoy announcements and flickering fluorescent lights and the hum of the refrigerator units...

- The office was extremely untidy.

Papers spilling out of files, books stacked up in piles over the floor, nowhere to sit as all the chairs are full of stuff already, envelopes fanning out over the carpet, paper clips as numerous as swarming ants...

Think active verbs and visual images that imply movement - eg spilling, fanning, piling and so on. Make your description as dynamic as possible for interesting reading.

At last! I've got my finger out and have committed to running some day courses:

Writing a Novel - 31st July in Bath and 18th September in Truro

Getting a Novel Published - 1st August in Bath and 19th September in Truro

Contact me on sarah@sarahduncan.co.uk for more info...