Getting over the Hump (not sex or rejection!)

During term time I see this phenomenon repeated lots of times a week. A bunch of writers come into class, most of them saying they haven't been able to get much written over the past week. I set them an exercise. They groan, complain, ask for something easier. I hit them over the head with my big stick until they quieten down (actually I've just made that bit up) and then they have precisely 7 minutes and 35 seconds to get on with some writing.

7 minutes and 36 seconds later I say it's time to stop writing. They all ignore me and carry on. So I say it a bit louder. Then I say (and you can see I have total control of my class): 'Oh, well, as you're writing so much, carry on for another minute or two.'

After another minute and 45 seconds, I ask them to stop again. Reluctantly, one by one, they put down their pens and class carries on.

It happens again and again. There's this hump - this thing about starting writing. Writing once you've got over the hump is easy, but getting enough energy to push yourself up and over is hard. Sometimes, writing seems such a hard task, it doesn't seem worth bothering, especially if you've only got fifteen minutes or so free.

Believe me - it's worth it. In class, it usually takes less than TWO MINUTES for everybody to be scribbling away having got over the hump. I am a superb procrastinator, but even I take only a couple of minutes to settle down to writing once I've actually started.

I promise in less than 3 minutes you'll be so into your writing you'll have forgotten all about the hump and how difficult it was to get started. Just do it! Start right now!

Dealing with Rejection

Let's face it. Rejection is tough. It sucks.

But some of us deal with it better than others. This clip from Black Books should cheer anyone up who has had a rejection letter in the past...

My Pseudonym

Here's a little secret - Sarah Duncan is not my real name. It's not a married name. It's not even my dog's name plus the name of the street where I grew up. It is a completely random name, and yet it's the one everybody knows me by. Even the tax man takes money off me using that name rather than the one on my passport.

It came about when I was at drama school. You couldn't have the same name as any other actor - the reason why Richard E Grant has that E. Someone had my real name, the one I was born with. I trawled through some family names, came up with a combination I liked - Sarah Dakin - and asked my tutor what he thought. He said he'd think about it. Weeks later, when I needed to start writing to agents I asked him. He said he liked the name Sarah Duncan. It wasn't what I'd given him, but it seemed OK so I went with it.

When I started writing, it seemed a good idea to carry on using Sarah Duncan, because I was pretty certain the Only Fools and Horses link would get me publicity. Now, everybody knows me by my pseudonym, even me. One of my brothers sent me a card addressed to my real name, not even my married name, and I actually wrote "not known at this address" on the envelope before I clicked.

I sometimes wonder what would happen if someone tried to steal my identity. Which one would it be? The one with credit cards and bank accounts, but no birth certificate? Or the one with the birth certificate but no money to steal? Perhaps I ought to change it by deed-poll, but then why have the hassle? And besides, if I was going to change it officially, I think I'd rather have something a bit more exotic. I've always fancied Laetitia...

3 Ways to Find an Agent who is Actively Looking for New Clients

There is a certain attrition rate among an agent's authors. Some die or give up writing, others get dropped by their publishers, some take themselves off to other agents. I think it would be fair to say that all agents take on new clients, but usually only one or two a year. They're usually supplied with enough potential clients not to have to actively hunt them out, but for some that's not the case.

However, a new agent will need to build up their own client list. They may be new because they've set up their own business having worked for another agency, or new because they've changed direction from being an editor or rights manager to agenting. They may have been working as an assistant at a big agency, and have been promoted so they have their own list.

1. Read The Bookseller. You can subscribe to an email news digest, or read it at your local library. It reports new appointments and moves to new agencies.

2. Look at writing conference programmes. You may not be able to make it to the conference itself but any agent who is there is likely to be actively looking for clients. The same may also be true of literary festivals, although it is equally likely that the agent is speaking at the festival as a favour to a friend or family member.

3. Get a short story published in an anthology, and make sure it's widely advertised/sent out to agencies. Agents looking for new clients know that short story anthologies are showcases for unpublished writers, especially if the anthology is published by a known source such as a MA Creative Writing course or a short story competition.

What If the Agent says No Unsolicited Material?

My mother was keen that I was well brought up, and therefore the idea of sending out my work to someone who said No Unsolicited Material was completely unthinkable. I took it at face value. However, then I went to a talk given by an agent who worked for an agency that said they didn't look at unsolicited material. Someone in the audience stuck their hand up and asked about it.

'Oh, that,' the agent said blithely. 'We put that on to deter the no-hopers. We reckon anyone with the nerve to send out despite the notice is probably more determined than other writers, and we want to work with very determined writers.'

Now, personally I'd have thought it would mean that either people were determined or it was proof they didn't do their homework, but I'm not an agent. I've heard it since reiterated by other agents and editors. They may say they won't look at unsolicited material but they can't resist looking at it if it comes in - the biggest fear in publishing is that you'll be for ever remembered as the person who turned down the next JK Rowling/John Grisham/Stephen King...

So if you're certain that an agent is who you'd like to represent you, I'd disregard any comments in the Writers and Artists' Yearbook/The Writer's Handbook that they don't look at unsolicited material. Write to them, making it clear why you've chosen that particular agent. And if it gets returned by the next mail, obviously unlooked at? What have you lost apart from some postage?

Action in Prose

Description can get very, very dull. The best way to liven it up is to put some action in it. For example...

- It was a beautiful morning.

What made it a beautiful morning? Let's say it was the sunshine. That's static. So, perhaps the sunshine could sparkle on the surface of the river. OK, but could be better. The surface could ripple, for example, the river could gush. Perhaps there were trees leaning over the water. Make the trees specific varieties - willow is the obvious one, and conjures up images of long strands waving in the breeze...

- The supermarket was busy.

What makes a supermarket busy? Obvious answer - people. Mums and dads, and kids and babies and OAPs and stressed out checkout assistants and shelf stackers. Add in a load of trolleys, and tannoy announcements and flickering fluorescent lights and the hum of the refrigerator units...

- The office was extremely untidy.

Papers spilling out of files, books stacked up in piles over the floor, nowhere to sit as all the chairs are full of stuff already, envelopes fanning out over the carpet, paper clips as numerous as swarming ants...

Think active verbs and visual images that imply movement - eg spilling, fanning, piling and so on. Make your description as dynamic as possible for interesting reading.

At last! I've got my finger out and have committed to running some day courses:

Writing a Novel - 31st July in Bath and 18th September in Truro

Getting a Novel Published - 1st August in Bath and 19th September in Truro

Contact me on sarah@sarahduncan.co.uk for more info...

What Characters Actually Say

Another editing tip, one I've found very useful with characters. I first discovered this with Adam in Adultery for Beginners. I couldn't get a grip on his character at all; I wanted him to be kind and sympathetic but I could see he was coming across as simply wet. I didn't got to a purely Method drama school, but we'd had the classes based on Stanislavski's techniques, so one day I tried looking at what Adam said which is the first step a Method actor would take when looking at their role.

I copied all the scenes he was in into a separate document, then deleted everything that wasn't an actual bit of his dialogue. That left me with what he actually said.

Then I repeated the process, but this time left only comments that other people said about him, and deleted the rest.

I discovered that Adam often asked questions, and used a lot of qualifiers in his speech, for example, "I think it's X", or "I've heard it might be" or "Do you think it could have anything to do with...?" According to linguistics expert Deborah Tannen and various other psychologists, men talk in statements, not questions, and use qualifiers less often than women. In other words, Adam was coming across as wet because he talked like a woman.

And what other people said about him confirmed that. He was nice, kind, gentle...all of which are good things, but not exactly butch.

So I rewrote Adam. Not just what he said, but how he said it, and what people said about him. He did blokey things like play poker and go down black ski runs (yes, yes, I know women do these things too but they're more blokey than embroidery, for example). He was still nice, kind and gentle, but was more decisive, more quirky, more self-determined. And he stopped asking all those interminable questions.

At last! I've got my finger out and have committed to running some day courses:

Writing a Novel - 31st July in Bath and 18th September in Truro

Getting a Novel Published - 1st August in Bath and 19th September in Truro

Contact me on sarah@sarahduncan.co.uk for more info...

6 Uses for Find and Replace when Writing and Editing

Like most people I use Word as my word processing software. You'll find the Find/Replace button if you go to Edit on the top bar, then you're offered Find - which will just find a word - or Replace, which will find a word and then replace it. I use Find and Replace a lot when I'm writing and editing.

1. When writing and I get stuck and want to jump I put XXX and then make the leap. Later on I can Find all those XXXs and then stick in whatever's needed to make the link.

2. When writing I might get an idea for a previous scene. Instead of scrolling back I put XXX and then make a note. Later, I use Find and look at all those notes.

3. When writing I know I've got certain...shall we say, quirks? If I'm stuck for a gesture on the first draft, I often have characters running their hands through their hair. This is fine once, twice maybe, but too many times and all my characters would look like cockatoos. Finding the phrase "running his hand" or "he ran his hand" means I can think of something better.

4. Which do you prefer? She felt as if a sledgehammer had whacked her...or...Bam! A sledgehammer whacked her...or...his words hit her like a sledgehammer. I could go on with different versions of sledgehammering, but the least effective uses She felt. It's a distancing phrase, it puts the reader at arms length by telling us how she feels. Bam! let's us feel the sledgehammer at the same time as she does. As a general rule, all she felts can go, and Find is a useful tool for hunting them down. I also do it with "seemed" and "that" and have done it for adverbs too - type in ly and see how many come up.

5. Names. My characters change names a lot when I'm writing, especially minor ones. And then at the end I go back and check I haven't used similar names - I speak as one whose first draft of her first novel featured Patrick, Pat, George, Gerry and Jenny. It's easy to change names using Find and Replace BUT be careful before you press the OK button. I have changed names like Gus to Nick, and ended up with words like AuNickt and disNickting. Get round it by adding spaces before and after the names, or press the Next button rather than All so you can check each one before you change.

6. If I cut bits out from a draft I stick them at the end of the document so I have them to hand if I either want them back, or think there might be a nifty phrase or bit of dialogue lurking that I can use later. I put *THE END* at the end of the book (which is good for morale) and then cut and paste them after it. (Putting the * * means I don't get mixed up with phrases like 'she thought it was the end of everything'.) That way I can easily find where I am so far, and how much of the whole document is discard.

At last! I've got my finger out and have committed to running some day courses:

Writing a Novel - 31st July in Bath and 18th September in Truro

Getting a Novel Published - 1st August in Bath and 19th September in Truro

Contact me on sarah@sarahduncan.co.uk for more info...

You Can Always Learn

Another session at the Romantic Novelists Association Conference. I was a bit thrown when the speaker opened her talk on first lines by saying 'I don't know what you're doing here, Sarah. You must know all this already.'

I mumbled something about there always being something to learn, which probably sounded a bit smarmy, but it's true! I think you'd have to be incredibly arrogant to believe you couldn't learn anything more about writing.

I've been writing fiction for ten years. I've over four hundred 'how to write' books on my bookshelf and I've read them all several times, plus others I've got from the library or been lent. All had something to offer. I love going to creative writing classes as a student. This year, apart from the RNA conference, I've done one week-long course and one day course, and I've got another booked for later on in the summer. What could be nicer?

That's what's so fascinating about creative writing - every day another aspect presents itself, every day you learn something new. And if the writing ever palls, if the imagination is exhausted, well, there are always some new crisp pages of someone else's book to slip into. Reading, writing, learning. Reading, writing, learning. My personal trinity.

At last! I've got my finger out and have committed to running some day courses:

Writing a Novel - 31st July in Bath and 18th September in Truro

Getting a Novel Published - 1st August in Bath and 19th September in Truro

Contact me on sarah@sarahduncan.co.uk for more info...

Waiting for Prince Charming to Come Along

At the Romantic Novelists Association Conference I went to a great talk given by my friend Kate Harrison. It was about planning your career, something I have never given much thought to in the past - and it shows. It made me do a lot of thinking along the 'where do I go from here?' lines, but one analogy in particular struck me: the writer as Cinderella waiting for her Prince Charming publisher to come along.

Yes, it's fabulous when the Prince slips the slipper on your foot, shouts "it fits!", declares undying love, and whisks you off to the fairy tale castle. Nestled in his strong arms, you stare up at his manly chin and beautiful eyes and sigh happily because he will look after you and protect you for ever and ever.

Right. And you'll be telling me next you believe in Father Christmas and the publishing pixies.

I think, like many writers, I have been guilty of handing over control over my life and work to some bloke simply on the basis of his nifty shoe-fitting abilities. I'm a romantic, but times are tough and I don't think Cinderella is a suitable role model for a writer any more. I'm not sure who is - Beauty from Beauty and the Beast? Boudicca?

Any suggestions?

At last! I've got my finger out and have committed to running some day courses:

Writing a Novel - 31st July in Bath and 18th September in Truro

Getting a Novel Published - 1st August in Bath and 19th September in Truro

Contact me on sarah@sarahduncan.co.uk for more info...

Patronising Authors

When I was at drama school the main topic of conversation was the Equity situation. At that time Equity, the actors' union, operated a closed shop: you couldn't get a job unless you were a member of Equity, you couldn't join Equity unless you had a job. Each year each repertory company had two cards to give newcomers, something like 32 places in total. And that was it unless you went through the back door and did something like dance on a cruise ship, which would allow you to join under 'light entertainment'. What you were prepared to do to get your card was a hot topic of conversation.

Like everybody else, I was obsessed with the card situation. And then I got lucky, auditioned and got a job at a repertory theatre and got a card. I was a professional actor, and suddenly discussion about the Equity situation ceased to be interesting. What was intensely interesting was finding out the names of all the casting directors, and subscribing to all the professional journals and news services only available to card-carrying members of Equity which hadn't really bothered me so far.

It was much the same when I was pregnant for the first time, when any clue, tip, or hint to how to give birth is riveting - I took a Scrabble set into the delivery suite because someone had told me they'd had a lull at one point and had longed for something to do. Then I had the baby and whoosh! all that changed. Now the obsessions were about feeding and sleeping and developmental milestones. Then those were dropped for the terrible twos and toddler taming, and so it went on.

And it's the same again when you get your first deal. Before, you're fascinated by the minutiae of covering letters and synopses, obsessive about fonts (if I use Georgia instead of Times New Roman, will they still read my manuscript?). After the agent, after the deal, new things preoccupy you. Right now, every author bar the Top Ten best sellers is nervously checking their contracts. Every day there is news of a mid-list author whose contract hasn't been renewed.

So if published authors sometimes appear distant or - worse - patronising about the unpublished, please don't take it to heart. Imagine you're excitedly telling them about your intention to use a birthing pool for your first when they've given birth to eleven children already. It's hard to get really enthusiastic when your own pelvic floor has gone south.

At last! I've got my finger out and have committed to running some day courses:

Writing a Novel - 31st July in Bath and 18th September in Truro

Getting a Novel Published - 1st August in Bath and 19th September in Truro

Contact me on sarah@sarahduncan.co.uk for more info...

The Elevator Pitch 2

Yesterday I looked at combination pitches, a type of pitch I'm not very happy with myself, but if you've got the chutzpah to carry off, great. If not, don't worry as you need to develop the longer elevator pitch - the 25 worder - for your covering letter anyway and you can use that.

Start with writing down the answers to the following questions.

Who is your main character? What's the most important information about them?

What do they want? Why do they want it?

Why can't they get it? What/who stands in their way?

How do they try to get round it?

What's the setting?

What's the story about? What's it really about? (is there an underlying theme/message eg love conquers all, triumph over tragedy, the role of women in today's society)

Now try writing a pitch using your answers and trying to be as specific as possible, and following this formula:

This is a story about X who wants Y but is prevented by Z so tries A, and in the end B happens.

This is a story about Isabel Freeman*, back in the UK after 15 years abroad, who wants something more in her life than being labelled a wife and mother in provincial suburbia, so she starts a job that leads to a passionate affair with her boss which then goes wrong.

That's 50 words. Is it any good? Well, it covers the main points and tells us who, where, when, what and why (the theme - women's loss of identity when they're wives and mothers). It's low concept - there must be thousands of books that this pitch could describe - but it's the pitch for Adultery for Beginners and it worked for me!

*Technically, film elevator pitches don't name names eg housewife instead of Isabel, but they work better for books by naming the characters. I suspect this is because films tend to be more plot driven, books character driven, but don't know for sure.

At last! I've got my finger out and have committed to running some day courses:

Writing a Novel - 31st July in Bath and 18th September in Truro

Getting a Novel Published - 1st August in Bath and 19th September in Truro

Contact me on sarah@sarahduncan.co.uk for more info...

The Elevator Pitch 1

The elevator pitch is a term from the film world. You imagine that you happen to get into the same lift as a producer, and you've got from the ground floor to the 14th floor - a journey of about two minutes - to try to interest them in the premise of your film. That's the elevator pitch.

As writers we might use an elevator pitch in two circumstances. Firstly, someone says: what's the book about? Do you say...

a) Gosh, well, um, it's sort of about this woman and she's feeling really unsettled in her life, but then she gets a job, and her husband doesn't want her to, but her friend has fixed her up with the interview so she goes - they've only recently moved into the area - did I say they were ex-pats? Well, anyway, she starts this job with this bloke etc etc etc....

b) It's about a woman who has an affair which goes wrong.

If you're anything like me, your natural instincts when put on the spot tend towards verbal diarrhoea coupled with a blank brain. Most people need to practise their pitch to enable them to come up with something short and succinct.

The second circumstance is in the covering letter. This is a brief selling summary of the story you're telling, and you're supposed to be able to do it in twenty five words. I think anything up to about fifty would be okay.

So, having established what it is, and when you'd use it, how do you write it? I've got two formula, one for today, one for tomorrow.

1. When you take two already established films/books/genres and put them together, or put an established film/book in a new setting. Alien was famously pitched as "Jaws in space". Eoin Colfer pitched Artemis Fowl as "Die Hard with fairies". I once pitched Adultery for Beginners as "Joanna Trollope with more sex and a wider vocabulary" but tragically couldn't keep a straight face while doing so. You need to have something you can actually say without wanting to die, which is why the combination pitch is so tricky. It's either fabulous (Jaws in space) or it's dreadful.

The other version is thankfully less cringe-making - but more on that tomorrow.

At last! I've got my finger out and have committed to running some day courses:

Writing a Novel - 31st July in Bath and 18th September in Truro

Getting a Novel Published - 1st August in Bath and 19th September in Truro

Contact me on sarah@sarahduncan.co.uk for more info...

Let's be Boring

At the first Romantic Novelist Association Conference I attended an agent gave a speech about what, in her opinion, made the perfect writer. Obviously a brilliant writing style came high on the list, but about half way through I remember there was a collective sharp intake of breath from the audience. The agent wanted the writer to live a boring life. She must have sensed the hostility because she quickly rushed in to say this was her wish list, and like it or not, a writer with a settled life was more likely to write.

I was thinking about this recently. A writer friend was telling me how she'd stopped writing for the last few months after the death of her father, and how she was worried that she'd got completely blocked. I was able to reassure her that I too had stopped writing when my father died, but as the shock had diminished, the writing had come back.

We can be so hard on ourselves. We're not machines. Of course we stop writing when our real lives absorb all the energy we'd usually spend on our fictional ones. Our loved ones die, have affairs, lose their jobs, we move house. We fall in love, or out of love, have problems with our children or our children have problems that need us there. Life happens. It takes our emotional energy away from the page.

So I understand what the agent wanted from her writers. Productive people whose lives were settled. But we can't stop life from happening to us. Because then, what would we have to write about?

At last! I've got my finger out and have committed to running some day courses:

Writing a Novel - 31st July in Bath and 18th September in Truro

Getting a Novel Published - 1st August in Bath and 19th September in Truro

Contact me on sarah@sarahduncan.co.uk for more info...

Confused of Bath

I am bursting with pride because my baby boy has been awarded a First from King's, London. It is terrific news and I'm thrilled to bits. He's especially pleased because his dissertation got 83% - a First is above 70% - so it's a tremendous achievement.

So why the confusion? Well....I read his dissertation, gave it a quick copy-edit too, and I wouldn't have given it that high a mark. It was good, but - in my opinion - not that good. Okay, so I don't know anything about the Malayan Crisis, but I know (or think I know) good writing. I got my moderator's feedback from Oxford a few weeks ago and they thought I was a tough marker too, although they qualified the comment by adding they didn't know much about current publishing standards. (!!! - don't get me started.)

I've written before about marking and grades and want to stick to my standard: 70% means it's publishable. It would be short listed in a short story comp, or picked up off the slush pile. A dispassionate reader (ie not your mum, partner, best friend) would enjoy reading it and want to read more. All my opinion, of course, but there it is. That's where I set the bar.

And that seems to me to be useful information for a writer who wants to get published. I suppose I've never been one to compare grades. It's like cars - so long as they get you from A to B I'm really not that interested in the make or the spec. So what if some teacher gives you 54 or 64 - is this work publishable? It's the big question every student wants to know. Yes, it's tough to get say 54, but wouldn't that be better than getting 68 simply because of grade inflation and thinking you were nearly there? Especially if you went out into the real world and then were depressed because nobody wanted your writing.

So, there's my dilemma. Should I moderate my marking so everyone wins a prize and loves me? Or should I stick to what feels like a lonely outpost and persist in pointing out that the real world is out there and doesn't give a stuff about grades, only good writing? I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.

Except, deep down I do. I have to be honest, with myself, with my own writing, with others' writing. Without honesty there is no point at all.

(PS - I have since been informed by the dissertation author that the high mark was due to the originality of the content and not the writing style. Which I'm sure is correct, but I still think grade inflation is out there, and I don't think it's helpful for writers who are hoping to be published. Just saying.)

At last! I've got my finger out and have committed to running some day courses:

Writing a Novel - 31st July in Bath and 18th September in Truro

Getting a Novel Published - 1st August in Bath and 19th September in Truro

Contact me on sarah@sarahduncan.co.uk for more info...

Getting the Beat 2

So I'm talking about beats and the rhythms of writing and yesterday I took an extract from A Single to Rome and added exactly two actions or thoughts to the basic dialogue. The result was monotony. This is I actually wrote.

'So, what did you think?' Kimberley said as they walked back to the car. 'Did you meet the man of your dreams?'

'You know Michael wasn't there,' Natalie said.

Kimberley made a tsk noise. 'I quite liked a few of them. They weren't all bad.'

'Which ones did you like?' Natalie didn't think there'd been anyone who could raise a spark of interest in her. But that was unfair: all her interest was directed at Michael.

'Toby, he was nice, and Jerry. And Guy, and that one with the big hands, I think he was David - I got a bit confused in the second half.'

Natalie checked her card as she tried to remember. David, David, David... 'Was he the shaggy one? No! Didn't you think he was a bit scruffy?' She wanted to say slobbery.

'I quite like that - I don't want them too prissy. And you know what they say about men with big hands.' Kimberley raised her eyebrows at Natalie, who laughed.

'But is it true?'

'Only one way to find out.'

Just looking at it on the page it looks better. The speeches are broken up, and there are several which have no attributions, no actions, no thoughts.

Attrib. Action.

Attrib.

Action.

Thought. Thought. Thought.

-

Action. Thought. Thought.

Action. Action.

-

-

It's a pretty random pattern, and is all the better for it. We need to know what the characters are doing and thinking, but if we get everything it's relentless, a bit like sitting next to some twit at the cinema who feels the need to give a running commentary on the film. The bits of dialogue without any attributions, or beats are like breathing spaces in the prose.

They also speed up the pace. Immediately after this passage comes a longish paragraph of Natalie's interior thoughts which slows the pace down again. Fast, slow, fast, slow - readers want the variety or they get bored. Most writers - all? - read out their work either as they're writing or editing, or both. They can hear the rhythm of the beats and instinctively are looking for variety. Listen to the rhythms of your writing. Listen to your beats.

At last! I've got my finger out and have committed to running some day courses:

Writing a Novel - 31st July in Bath and 18th September in Truro

Getting a Novel Published - 1st August in Bath and 19th September in Truro

Contact me on sarah@sarahduncan.co.uk for more info...

Getting the Beat 1

The bits that come between the actual speeches in a dialogue section are technically called beats, though I more often refer to them as inbetweeny bits. They take the form of either an action or a thought/emotion - he said, putting his teacup down/she said, thinking he was so boring.

Here's a scene excerpt from A Single to Rome, with the beats taken out. Kimberley and Natalie have just been to a speed-dating evening. Natalie is getting over the breakup of her relationship with Michael.

K: So, what did you think? Did you meet the man of your dreams?

N: You know Michael wasn't there.

K: I quite liked a few of them. They weren't all bad.

N: Which ones did you like?

K: Toby, he was nice, and Jerry. And Guy, and that one with the big hands, I think he was David - I got a bit confused in the second half.

N: Was he the shaggy one? No! Didn't you think he was a bit scruffy?

K: I quite like that - I don't want them too prissy. And you know what they say about men with big hands.

N: But is it true?

K: Only one way to find out.

Try putting exactly two beats for each bit of dialogue. It could be two actions or two thoughts or one action/one thought. (Dialogue attributions don't count.) You might end up with something like this...

'So, what did you think? Did you meet the man of your dreams?' Kimberley said as they walked back to the car, high heels clicking on the pavement.

'You know Michael wasn't there.' Natalie pressed her fingers against her temples. Just her luck to get a splitting headache.

Kimberley glanced over to her. 'I quite liked a few of them. They weren't all bad.' She jiggled her car keys.

Natalie felt a pang of envy. Kimberley was always so positive, sometimes it was hard to like her. 'Which ones did you like?'

Kimberley put her head to one side and narrowed her eyes as if considering her options. 'Toby, he was nice, and Jerry. And Guy, and that one with the big hands, I think he was David - I got a bit confused in the second half.'

Natalie tried to think who she meant. A succession of men merged into one. 'Was he the shaggy one? No! Didn't you think he was a bit scruffy?

'I quite like that - I don't want them too prissy.' Kimberley giggled, and leant across to whisper in Natalie's ear. 'And you know what they say about men with big hands.

Natalie giggled too. She heard people say that many times before. 'But is it true?'

Kimberley raised her eyebrows and swung her car keys around on one finger. 'Only one way to find out.'

That's so dull to read. f you try reading it aloud, you can hear that the rhythm is all wrong, it's like a toddler banging a spoon on a saucepan, on and on and on. It's monotonous. It even looks monotonous on the page, each line roughly the same, lots of short paragraphs after each other. And, while I'm not making any claims to write high literature, this does come across as exceptionally trite. I'll look at what I actually wrote for this scene, and why, tomorrow.

At last! I've got my finger out and have committed to running some day courses:

Writing a Novel - 31st July in Bath and 18th September in Truro

Getting a Novel Published - 1st August in Bath and 19th September in Truro

Contact me on sarah@sarahduncan.co.uk for more info...

Whose Advice Is It Anyway?

At the Romantic Novelists Association conference I attended lots of talks, some wonderful and others a bit less so. In one, some of the information given was directly at odds with what I'd advise. So, who is right?*

The answer is - we both could be. There are no absolutes in writing. What works for one reader won't work for another. What one editor loves may be loathed by another. The requirements for one agent will differ from another (Carole Blake, for example, in From Pitch to Publication wants a lengthy synopsis and full character breakdowns, but most editors and agents in my experience want a brief synopsis, a page or 2 at the most). I was told by a friend that they'd had a positive response from an agent to their covering letter being actually a pussy cat card as they'd heard the agent was a cat lover. It's not something I'd advise - but it worked.

Use your common sense. Someone asked me recently about putting recommendations from friends and family into their covering letter, as had been advised by a tutor on a course they'd been to. I was horrified and gave the opposite advice. I reckon it's only common sense - of course your mum loves it, she loves you and unless she's the book buyer for Tesco her opinion doesn't mean anything except make you look amateurish. That seems commonsense to me.

Commonsense says that manuscripts should be easy and pleasant to read, so double spacing and one side of the paper only are good ideas. Ditto black ink on white paper: in fact, the 'rules' regarding format for manuscript presentation are all about commonsense. Is it easy to read? Then do it.

I write my novels in one long document and put it into chapters at the very last minute. I've got my reasons for doing this, and I think they're pretty good ones that I advise other writers to follow, but it might not work for you. If it helps, do it, if not, discard. Use your commonsense.

*(The correct answer here is me, of course.)

At last! I've got my finger out and have committed to running some day courses:

Writing a Novel - 31st July in Bath and 18th September in Truro

Getting a Novel Published - 1st August in Bath and 19th September in Truro

Contact me on sarah@sarahduncan.co.uk for more info...

When My Editor Said No

Last night I watched It's Complicated with Meryl Streep, Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin. It's fun but I thought there was a better film lurking in there. The problem (for me) was the inconsistent tone.

Meryl Streep is a terrific (if slightly annoying) actress. She has huge depth and brings reality to her roles. I believed that I was watching a real person, not an actress playing a character. So it was unfortunate that Alec Baldwin is a different kind of actor. He's pretty much WYSIWYG. I like what he does, but it didn't sit well with Meryl's style. I never believed that these two people had ever been a couple. The tone was wrong. Were we watching a realistic drama or a superficial but fun rom-com?

I've done this myself. In the first draft of Another Woman's Husband I made the blackest moment very black indeed. I wanted the main character to suffer and boy, did she suffer. She got drunk and was sick in a car park, and then...well, you'll never know because my editor said No. It's the only time she's made such a categoric statement. No, she said. The tone is wrong.

I don't think it was the vomiting that did it. After all, in It's Complicated Meryl also gets drunk and is sick into a drawer. But the tone in the film is light-hearted and the scene is played for laughs. The tone in that first draft was too realistic and therefore rather sordid. I could have lightened it up, played down the realism, but I decided to scrap the scene altogether* and have a re-think.

Tone has to be consistent. I think that's why we wince at Candid Camera types of programmes which feature people coming off their bikes and instead of flying into a pool of mud (funny) land on their noses (ouch and not so funny). Gritty drama, black comedy, rom coms - they can all be good. Put put the two together, cast Meryl and Alec and the result is not so successful.

(*Actually, I didn't scrap it, I've carefully saved it and if I ever write a gritty literary novel, by jingo, there's going to be a car park vomiting scene in it.)

At last! I've got my finger out and have committed to running some day courses:

Writing a Novel - 31st July in Bath and 18th September in Truro

Getting a Novel Published - 1st August in Bath and 19th September in Truro

Contact me on sarah@sarahduncan.co.uk for more info...

Eat Pray and Be Positive

I was looking for an example of writing for my talk at the RNA Conference and came up with this bit from Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. Despite recommendations I was a bit sceptical I would like this book but I've liked what I've read so far. Here's an extract to show why.

They come upon me all silent and menacing like Pinkerton Detectives, and they flank me – Depression on my left, Loneliness on my right. They don’t need to show me their badges. I know these guys very well. We’ve been playing a cat-and-mouse game for years now. Though I admit that I am surprised to meet them in this elegant Italian garden at dusk. This is no place they belong.

I say to them, ‘How did you find me here? Who told you I had come to Rome?’

Depression, always the wise guy, says, ‘What – you’re not happy to see us?’

‘Go away, I tell him.

Loneliness, the more sensitive cop, says, ‘I’m sorry, ma’am. But I might have to tail you the whole time you’re travelling. It’s my assignment.’ .......

.....‘It’s not fair for you to come here,’ I tell Depression. ‘I paid you off already. I served my time back in New York.’

But he just gives me that dark smile, settles into my favourite chair, puts his feet on my table and lights a cigar, filling the place with his awful smoke. Loneliness watches and sighs, then climbs into my bed and pulls the covers over himself, fully dressed, shoes and all. He’s going to make me sleep with him again tonight, I just know it.

First of all, there's lots of pzazz here. I like the overall image, Depression and Loneliness being detectives, and the way the idea is carried throughout the rest of the piece. Each time a phrase that compounds the image eg showing their badges it adds a bit of pzazz.

And what does all that pzazz do? It takes a section - and it's several pages in the book - about a woman succumbing to a bout of deep depression and turns it into something fun to read. We're aware that this is going to be painful for her, but the reading experience is anything but. It's a really good example of how to write something negative in a positive way.

At last! I've got my finger out and have committed to running some day courses:

Writing a Novel - 31st July in Bath and 18th September in Truro

Getting a Novel Published - 1st August in Bath and 19th September in Truro

Contact me on sarah@sarahduncan.co.uk for more info...

Minding the Gap - a Preview!

Well, it's only a preview if you're reading this before 9.00 am when my talk at the Romantic Novelists Association starts. I'm going to be rambling on about various things that I think lift a manuscript from the slush pile to the must-publish-this pile, finishing with a bit about adding pzazz. Try reading this...

Jan checked her watch. ‘It’s almost time for your talk.’

I paused, muesli spoonful halfway to my mouth. ‘I thought I’d got about ten minutes.’

She raised an eyebrow. ‘We like to start on time, you know.’

It was eight fifty on a Sunday morning – eight fifty one, to be precise, and Jan liked to be precise. I’d seen her last night at the BBQ, lining up the wine glasses in a neat line. A neat line, asking to be broken. And it had been.

I sighed. But not by me. I had kept my vow to stay sober before giving my talk, although judging by the look on Jan’s face, she didn’t believe me. I put the last spoonful down, uneaten. I thought about having another, last drink of tea, but decided against that too. I didn’t want to be late, I thought, as I pushed back my chair and stood up.

‘Which room am I in?’

Jan showed no sign of being irritated, though she must have been, as she’d already told me many times before. Along with all sorts of other stuff about the conference, which I’d managed to forget, or mislay. My room at home was scattered with bits of paper as I’d decided to reorganise my entire filing system that week. It had seemed a better idea than writing a novel, which was what my agent thought I was doing. Somewhere under all the bits of paper, the conference information lay. In other words, it wasn’t with me.

Jan told me which room I was speaking in, and checked her watch again. I’m sure it was fast. Either that, or time was being squished, like electrons going round the Large Hadron Collider 574 feet under the Franco-Swiss border near Geneva.

I sighed again. We weren’t in Geneva now. We were in Greenwich.

I hope you were sighing at the sheer genius of my prose writing style. No? Well, to be fair, it was written to be a bit...well, boring. Ordinary. There's nothing wrong with it, but that doesn't meant there's something right with it. It's middle of the road. It stays in the slush pile until - that last bit about the Large Hadron Collider.

Now, that may not have been the best bit of colour in the world, but with luck you read it and got a little buzz, a little pzazz. Pzazz can be anything - a good phrase, a surprising plot twist, a neat image. But it's got to be there, minimum five per page. Pzazz is the magic ingredient in the publishing pixie dust and it's there for anyone to find.

At last! I've got my finger out and have committed to running some day courses:

Writing a Novel - 31st July in Bath and 18th September in Truro

Getting a Novel Published - 1st August in Bath and 19th September in Truro

Contact me on sarah@sarahduncan.co.uk for more info...

Heroes and Roger Federer

I'd got this blog post idea in my head all about Wimbledon and heroes and why Roger Federer wasn't one, when what does he do? Gets knocked out unexpectedly early, and ruins it.

Because, by failing, he's become a hero.

I was going to write about how boring tennis has got. We had the reign of Pete Sampras, then Roger Federer. They were super-successful, which we're supposed to like, but actually they were super-boring. Polite on court, even-tempered, fantastic athletes, invincible tennis machines. Not heroes.

Because heroes need to display our best qualities, but also some of our worst. Scarlett O'Hara is brave and resourceful, but is also a bitch. Hannibal Lecter is intelligent, cultured and witty, but also eats people. James Bond in the books is always vulnerable, and it's interesting that the film franchise faltered when it made him invincible, but with the return of the more fallible hero the films have taken off again.

Our heroes - main characters - need to have some great qualities, but they need to be tempered with failings or, like Roger Federer, they become boring. Until now.

At last! I've got my finger out and have committed to running some day courses:

Writing a Novel - 31st July in Bath and 18th September in Truro

Getting a Novel Published - 1st August in Bath and 19th September in Truro

Contact me on sarah@sarahduncan.co.uk for more info...

Raising the Stakes

In some ways, thriller writers have it easy. The stakes tend to be large - baddie seeks world domination and to murder everyone who stands in their way. Baddies tend to be ruthless people who will stop at nothing, and the only person standing in their way is the main character. Cue 400 pages of breakneck speed prose.

But what if the sort of book we're writing dictates a smaller scale, perhaps a something a bit more domestic. The baddie may be someone the main character loved once, or loves now, or perhaps there isn't a baddie at all, just people going about their muddled lives. The stakes aren't going to involve world domination, the stakes may be as nebulous as trying to find happiness.

There are several ways of raising the stakes here.

1. Add a moral dilemma. Give your characters two options to choose from, both of which are have plusses and minuses. For example, the dilemma at the heart of Jodi Picoult's My Sister's Keeper - is it OK to have a baby when your main reason is the hope that the child will be an organ donor match for a sick older sibling? And what happens if they don't want to be a donor?

2. Make it really, really matter to the main character because it symbolises something else - for example all those family squabbles over some inconsequential piece of china left in a will which are really about Mother loved me more.

3. Go beyond reader expectations - in other words, make the situation far far worse than anticipated. If you have a casual affair and then dump your lover, they might hate you, but most of us would expect that. What you'd not expect is that they'd boil your children's bunny.

I'm sure there are as many ways of raising the stakes as there are characters in novels. The main thing is to work out what the stakes are for your characters, and then see if there's some way you can make them higher.

At last! I've got my finger out and have committed to running some day courses:

Writing a Novel - 31st July in Bath and 18th September in Truro

Getting a Novel Published - 1st August in Bath and 19th September in Truro

Contact me on sarah@sarahduncan.co.uk for more info...

How to Make the Most of a Conference

Off to the Romantic Novelists Association Conference today, where I'm one of the speakers. The weekend before last, it was the Winchester Writers Conference, and coming up are Swanwick and Caerleon. They've all got a different flavour but somethings are true to all.

1. Don't drink too much or you'll be hung over for the talks. This is even worse if you're actually giving the talk - and I speak from experience. Conferences are jolly places where a lot of people feel let off the leash and the alcohol flows. It's part of the experience, but try not to over do it. (I will have to see if I can practice what I preach...)

2. Don't accost people, especially agents and publishers. Yes, you want to get published, but there is no way they want to receive your manuscript right now. Send it to them in the usual way, saying you've met them at conference is the way to do it. The tales of people feeding manuscripts under the loo door maybe apocryphal, but I have seen someone try to push their manuscript into an agent's tightly folded arms.

3. This is not the place to tell an author you think their covers are crap, as your opening conversational gambit. It's happened to me, and while you may think it's displaying endearing honesty, I didn't feel at all endeared. Use your common sense around published authors if you don't want their faces to freeze in a rictus smile. Generally I'm happy to chat to anyone, but I don't want to feel I'm teaching. Buttonholing me about adjectival use in the lunch queue is not good.

4. Make friends. Don't be so focussed on your own publication that you ignore other people. I remember going to Winchester and how some people's eyes glazed over when they realised I wasn't published and therefore not worth talking to. Ha! That conference I met Kate Harrison, then also unpublished, and we've been friends ever since.

5. Take lots of notes, and allow some time to write them up in legible form when you get home before you forget what they were about. I have notes for talks that I now can't remember attending, and some of them are in a useful form on my computer which I can refer to easily, and others are in a useless stack of paper on a high shelf in my office.

6. Have a good time!

Fancy a holiday in France with me? I'm teaching a week long course on Writing Mainstream Fiction at a fab chateau in the South of France in September. More details? Contact Chateau Ventenac.

The Saggy Middle

After Writer's Bottom, one's thoughts lead inexorably to the saggy middle, although this time I'm referring to the novel.  Most people have an energy and impetus that propels them through beginning a novel.  Their characters intermingle, act and react.  All is well.  Scene follows scene, but gradually it all starts to slow down.  Writing becomes harder, and The End seems a very long way away.  The dreaded saggy middle has arrived.  

The doyen of scriptwriting analysis, Syd Field, called the solution to saggy middle 'the pinch'.  It was a scene which turned the story into a new direction.  Terry Pratchett once suggested that all a writer had to do was bring on a naked woman brandishing a flaming sword (which would certainly send my novels into a completely new direction).  Basically, something BIG needs to happen.

But when I say BIG the incident may, in itself, be quite a small action.  It's the repercussions which are large.  For example, half way through the film Gladiator Maximus is told that if he gets to Rome and wins the crowd over, he'll meet the emperor.  Since he'd like to kill the emperor, this gives him the will to survive - and his desire for revenge drives the second half of the film.

Halfway through, Cinderella dances with the prince and they fall in love, without which none of the clock striking or shoe losing would be important.  In many detective stories, it looks as if the mystery is solved when - da dah! half way through something happens that points the finger elsewhere (there's another murder which the No 1 suspect couldn't have done, possibly because the victim is the no 1 suspect).

I can remember laughing aloud when I read the mid-point event in Saint Maybe by Anne Tyler, it was so simple - just a line of dialogue, but it turned everything before up on its head by making the main character realise he'd been looking at life from the wrong angle. So, the solution for a saggy middle is an event which changes direction, and not 100 sit-ups.

Fancy a holiday in France with me? I'm teaching a week long course on Writing Mainstream Fiction at a fab chateau in the South of France in September. More details? Contact Chateau Ventenac.

Writer's Bottom

My poor dog is unwell and hasn't been able to walk very far. The four mile walk I've done with him every day for the past thirteen years has come to an abrupt end. Now he pootles to the end of the street and back (taking about the same time as the walk used to).

And I've been trying to get this novel finished so have let the gym visits slip as I feel guilty about spending writing time trying to stop my thighs wobble.

The result? Writer's Bottom looms large on my horizon - and any one else who sees me standing.

There are many drawbacks to being a writer - insecurity, neurosis, RSI, poverty and so on - but not many people mention physical decline. Writing is a sedentary occupation. It's been shocking to realise how quickly you go down hill - my dog was diagnosed with cancer at Easter, which is when we stopped walking. That's only three months or so, but boy - what a difference.

I shall have to take action - literally. It's back to the gym for me!

Fancy a holiday in France with me? I'm teaching a week long course on Writing Mainstream Fiction at a fab chateau in the South of France in September. More details? Contact Chateau Ventenac.

When to Stop Editing

Some people finish their novel or short story and send it off without even giving it the once over. Other people hang on patiently editing until all the life has been sucked out of the writing. If you're in the first camp, believe me it does need some editing. I get to see quite a lot of 'before' and 'after' workshopping writing, and the 'after' is invariably better.

So how do you know when it's ready?

I tend to stop when I've done everything I can think of and I'm sick to death of the whole thing. At this stage I will have...

* Sent out to my friends who read for me and incorporated their comments.

* Used index cards several times to check for pace and variety, and to see if there are any gaps.

* Highlighted every good phrase on every page, and made sure that there are at least 5 a page.

* Read the whole ms aloud at least once to check it flows well, the grammar works and there aren't hundreds of typos.

* Sorted out anything that's niggling me.

This last one is a killer. There are often things that you secretly know aren't quite working but you pretend to yourself that they're not really important, or that no one else will notice. Ha! They are, and they will. You're only putting it off because you suspect it's going to involve a lot more work than you want to do at this stage. Just do it.

And then it's done.

Anything more is hanging on because you're worried about what's going to happen when you send out. Sometimes not knowing feels better than risking rejection. But if you want to get published you have to send out. So stop editing, and get on with it.

How Not to Start Writing A Novel

Every year there is a marvellous competition for the worst opening to a novel. It's called the Bulwer-Lytton Prize, in honour of Sir Edward Bulwer-Lytton who wrote the famous opening:

"It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents - except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness." (from Paul Clifford by Edward Bulwer-Lytton 1830.)

The winning paragraph was written by Molly Ringle (who has written about it on her blog):

"For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity's affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss - a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity's mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world's thirstiest gerbil."

The runner up was Tom Wallace with:

"Through the verdant plains of North Umbria walked Waylon Ogglethorpe and, as he walked, the clouds whispered his name, the birds of the air sang his praises, and the beasts of the fields from smallest to greatest said, 'There goes the most noble among men' - in other words, a typical stroll for a schizophrenic ventriloquist with delusions of grandeur."

So, three dire opening paras, one unintentional, two written on purpose. What makes them dreadful? In the Bulwer-Lytton, I think it's the pedantic "except at occasional interval" that makes the heart sink, followed by the "for it is in London" phrase: even in 1830 it was a cliche. If you take the pedantry and the cliche out, it's a vivid piece of writing.

With the prize winning para, it's the whole gerbil thing. The association of a rodent with kissing is always going to be wrong, and the whole water bottle thing - well, it's not a sexy image in any shape or form. Metaphor gone wrong, would sum this one up.

The final one nearly works. It's the self consciousness, the voice that's busy saying "I'm so clever" that makes it a winner here. And who would want to read a book about a character called Waylon Ogglethorpe in the first place? Having said that, I think it would have worked even better if the name hadn't so clearly signalled that the piece was a joke. Ricardo and Felicity are well chosen for the purpose, not completely over the top, but neither entirely normal.

So what makes a good opening para? It's got to have something that hooks the reader - a promise of plot, a promise of style, a promise of interesting characters and it's very hard to do well.

What To Blog About?

I was having a look through my past blogs and trying to work out the most popular posts (if there's a gadget that does this, do tell) based on the number of comments. I feel I do several types of post:

- straightforward writing exercise

- something about a specific aspect of craft

- more general craft posts

- posts about getting published

- writer's woes and joys

- thoughts on the state of publishing

I'd be really interested in some feedback on the type of posts that work best - for example, I used to put up a writing exercise on Saturdays but I haven't done many recently because I'm not sure people are interested in them. So, over to you. And if there aren't any comments I'll deduce that no one gives a damn in the first place and just carry on mudding along!

Fancy a holiday in France with me? I'm teaching a week long course on Writing Mainstream Fiction at a fab chateau in the South of France in September. More details? Contact Chateau Ventenac.

Marks, Grades - So What?

At present I'm waiting to hear what my children have got for their respective courses. Both are teetering on the grade boundary between the top mark and the next down. I am desperate for them to get the top grades. I'm their mother!

I'm their mother, that's why I care. And it will matter to them. The top grade will be a source of confidence in the future or the lower grade will persistently niggle as they came so close. BUT NO ONE ELSE WILL CARE.

No one has ever asked what A levels I got, what degree class I have, whether I got a pass or distinction for my MA. It's never been relevant. And I've been working in an academic environment for the past eight years, where you'd think someone might, one day in passing, ask. But no.

The same is even more true for Creative Writing courses. All anyone cares about in the real world is the writing. I didn't get a distinction for my MA in Creative Writing, but that didn't stop me getting published while those who did get distinctions languish on the slush pile. When I did my MA I was truly amazed that some of my fellow students cared what mark they got, and cared to the point of asking to find out what others had got, and then complained if they thought they were 'better'. (And if this is you, take it from me, class performance does not necessarily predict the quality of assignments submitted.)

It's not maths, or physics, where there are absolute answers: 2 + 2 = 4, and all that. It's all opinion, and may have no relevance to the real world at all. I mark according to nearness to publication quality a piece may be. A short story I give a high mark to I'd expect to see in a competition short list. I could be wrong. I like to think that I'm quite consistent at marking relative to other work I've seen in the past and my wobbles are over giving a 54 or a 55, rather than deciding between 54 or 64. That distinction is always clear.

But if you're currently waiting for a grade, congratulations if it's high, commiserations if it's low, but above all remember it is completely irrelevant to anyone other than you. And your mum.

Fancy a holiday in France with me? I'm teaching a week long course on Writing Mainstream Fiction at a fab chateau in the South of France in September. More details? Contact Chateau Ventenac.

My Picture Book Tale

Some years ago I had an idea for a children's picture book. Rather randomly I sent it out to one of the biggest children's publisers, and to my amazement I got an email back a few weeks later - they loved it! I was thrilled - obviously I had hidden picture book writing talents that I hadn't known about. A vision of a future filled with Gruffalos and the like ran through my head as I tried to concentrate on what the email said.

They'd got an illustrator they wanted to work with who had already developed a character, and they thought my story would fit in nicely with that character. So instead of being a bear, my character would be a hare, and would have a different name. Would that by OK?

Yup, sure, bears, hares, what's the difference? And what's in a name - theirs was a bit more cutesy than my taste, but I am not a fussy writer. Fine, I squeaked, wondering how I was going to tell my agent that my writing had taken an unexpected turn.

Oh, and there were just a few little changes to the story. Most were fine, there were a few I thought they'd missed the point of, but picture books was not my world, so I'd accept their superior knowledge. And the title had to change - but titles, schmitles, theirs was fine and I'd known mine was a bit on the nose. I re-wrote, the editor was thrilled, and off it went to the Sales and Marketing meeting.

Sales and Marketing loved it! There were just a few small points about the beginning of the story they'd like to change. Feeling slightly less thrilled I read through them. I made the changes, and a few more to the middle that they hadn't been too sure about, and off it went again.

This time Sales and Marketing adored it, thought it was wonderful. It just needed a few changes to the ending and then it would be perfect. Rather grudgingly I made the changes, not a hundred per cent sure I was doing the right thing.

And Sales and Marketing thought it was fabulous. The only problem was, the title - which was great - didn't quite work with the story, so could the story change please. No. It couldn't. I wrote back nicely saying that I was more than happy to write a different story that fitted the their title, but my original story wasn't it. It was time to part company.

I think this is endemic in the world of picture books - they have so few words it's easy for everyone to stick their fingers in the mix. But it's around with novels too. Books written by committees don't work, and that's all there is to say on the subject.

Fancy a holiday in France with me? I'm teaching a week long course on Writing Mainstream Fiction at a fab chateau in the South of France in September. More details? Contact Chateau Ventenac.